Scipii pointed this out to me earlier so i had to post it here.

SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer's Perspective

I.

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18)in the
world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas
night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population
Reference Bureau). At an average(census) rate of 3.5 children per house
hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least
one good child in each.

II.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels
east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out,
jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get
back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.


Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around
the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the
purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4
miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles
per hour.

III.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds),
the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even
granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal
amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--Santa would
need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight
of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of
the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV.

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short,
they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a
second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015
pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him
to a quivering blob of pink goo.

V.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

yummay!

thats racist

i want the admins to delete phil, mmhh, and me for christmas...also i would like them to repay bizman

seeing as Muslims, Hindus, Jews and Buddhists don't believe in santa, i'm sure they don't mind.

Wow... and to think someone would actually go through all that work to type something as useless as this.

lol, it's from google.

my parents rule...just cause i have nephews they gte my shit from "santa" so they believe

yes make an uber ai that drops kool gear

i was thinking of some sort of thatch pulled by tractoring zebus, but that might be hard to do.

nah just make it an uber battlestation with a shitengine

or make it a really big phunka.dll!!

heh...nah im gonna keep for posting on forums GENE SHALIT IS GOD