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Post Christmas 2016
Discussion topic for post: http://www.starsonata.com/announcements/christmas-2016/


Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:06 pm
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Im gonna earn that holo
Quote:

Dear Grinch
Who am I to judge?
You're as sweet as chocolate fudge.
You break bones and make them cry,
and with my drones so do I.

Oh Grinch, you're my idol
so mighty and homicidal
You kill and immolate,
I murder and incinerate.

Santa doesn't seem to realize
how we'll make him agonize.
As for we're the coldest dudes in the neighbourhood,
we may be bad, but we feel good.

I have a plan, we'll steal those presents
and enslave those filthy elf peasants
I hope this letter reaches you,
and not Santa, that crazy ol' coocoo.

Your greatest fan:
Freakachu



Last edited by Sypom3 on Thu Dec 29, 2016 2:15 pm, edited 6 times in total.

Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:50 pm
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Quote:
Dear Astro Santa,

This is my second time writing you a letter in this particular time line. I know you enjoyed the last one, considering that if you hadn't you would have found yourself stuck in the Bana King DG... I would also like to thank you for the Nightfury Anger augmenter, and just to show you how much I've changed... I gave it away, you're welcome.

Anyway, dispensing with the pleasantries and what not, let's get on to what I would like this Christmas. I wouldn't mind it at all if when I wake up on Christmas Day and get out of my king size bed covered in my Doctor Who quilt, that I would run down the proverbial stairs and find in my proverbial stocking a "De-Focused Plasma Particle Distributor" and a pair of "Amplificative Oscillation Ion Emitters". Now I know you are a bit of a noob Santa, so let me translate: I'd like 1 RNF Incinerator and 2 RNF Lasers. Also, if it's not too much to ask, I'd also like that unpronounceable UrQa Death Striker thing that Grand Devlord Pixel put in the game, Capiche?

Considering you actually gave me what I wanted last year, albeit a bit late, this shouldn't be a problem at all. But just in case you get an inkling of that condition they call cold feet, I decided I'd give you a little peek into what the terrors of my mind came up with, just in case you don't deliver the goods.

Picture this: You find yourself in a random DG with 10 peaceful looking zebus (of course they are not really peaceful). As soon as you thrust or turn your ship in any direction, they will transform into deadly Zebu Ninja Death StrikersTM augged with OVER 9000 Minor Docking Augmenters. Half of the Zebu Ninjas are multifiring 5 DarkSteelian Nerf Mauls and the other half are multifiring 5 Enklin Touches. In case you were wondering, an Enklin Touch will activate the Alt+F4 key combination and uninstall Star Sonata, while the DarkSteelian Nerf Mauls crash your computer and wipe the hard drive (you need a new computer anyway, I've seen the toaster you run stuff on). After the Zebu Ninja's roflpwn you, I'll have SunDog make a memorable wiki page about the event, and your humiliation will be on the annals of the internet forever for all of spacekind to see. It's a little more violent than dropping you in the Bana King DG, but I felt that giving you the jolt of your life would be more memorable. Consider yourself lucky that I decided not to include Zombie Volcom Piranha ShipsTM.

You may be thinking "But I thought this devious scrublord changed?! He gave away that NF Anger aug I gave him!" To which I would respond, "Who is the gullible scrublord now?"

Anyhoo, I trust you won't let me down, I mean, can you imagine having to get a new computer? Operating systems sure aren't what they used to be. So, what'll it be Santa? I'd hate for you to have to get nerfed into the ground like the prawn was...

Sincerely yours,

- Chrono


This is my Christmas Letter for this year, enjoy.

- Chrono

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Last edited by Chrono Warrior on Sat Dec 10, 2016 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:28 pm
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Quote:
Dear Astro-Santa,

Every Friday night is like Christmas with the Starsonata Drunk Squad, This year we say cheers to you for your lovely presents you have given us over the years and with the luck of the Irish you might slip a few more Twisted Remains into our character's pocket!

PS: don't forget the beers! (Curse takes a double Vodka.)

To say thank you we have a bottle of Absinthe and a packet of peanuts to help you along with your journey delivering all the Starsonata presents to all the boys and girls that have been good this year.

Please don't drink and fly, look how Dr Feelgood turned out...

Yours Sincerely,

The Friday Night Drunk Squad.

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Last edited by Badgerlost on Sun Dec 11, 2016 3:09 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:47 pm
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
long as hell but here you go
Quote:
Dear Astro Santa,

Howdy.

It's been a long time since I've written a letter to ya. Time passes by pretty fast, doesn't it?

I've been looking at my old calendar a lot these days. It's the only thing keeping me anchored in this endless stream of space and time. Well, other than my engine of course.

Sometimes, I park my ship in the orbit of Sol and look out from my cockpit window. There's nothing much to say about the scenery of our solar system compared to others, but something about it never gets old.
Massive fleets being organized nearby the warp beacon, the constant stream of bots en-route to trade, random blasts of projectiles and lasers from trigger-happy pilots, incoherent chatter from the local communications channel, Cloaked ships conducting shady trades nearby the orbit of Jupiter, Traces of gore, blood and dung from the Broodmother's corpse.
I've always wondered how she managed to make a nest in here, even without a large block of space cheese. Earthforce must be getting pretty lazy.

Anyways, this place just makes me feel sentimental. Most of the time I find myself sitting down, sorting through today's haul while drinking the finest brew of space whiskey. But lately, I've been thinking of something.

What if our universe disappeared?

I know tons of researchers and scientists have confirmed each Universe Reset to be safe and secure, virtually a zero to none chance of losing any of your assets. Everything exept our deployed space stations and drone platforms carrying over to the next universe, ready to be used.

But what if a single, minuscule mistake, causes our whole universe to vanish?

Our knowledge of the ancient alien civilizations. The Bule, Faranji, Mzungu and Vazaha, along with the UrQa and Paxians. Every single strand of their advanced technology, culture and practices, gone without a trace.
The Zaphragi, great warriors of the Serengeti, erased.
The Pretenders, self proclaimed gods and their army of zealots, swallowed by the void.
The Aveksaka and the alien infested Subspace, home to the most deadliest of biological ships, devoured by space itself.
The Kalthi, known for their epic use of missile technology, engulfed by the darkness.
Pirates, mercenaries, traders and explorers of all kind in different ships cruising throughout the Earthforce layer. Annoying flyswatters. The Monochromes. The Goldenboys. The Blue pirates. Infernal Faction. The Spice pirates. The Chrome family.
Big Greens and their Battleships. Forgones. Ice Picks. Birds. Drops. Delquads. Hives. Omega Platforms and Battlestations. Stellations. Wattages. Ohms.

Every dangerous ship in perilous space, forgotten.

Each and every one of the special star systems we helped discover, along with the Paxians, collapsed on by space and time.

Every space station. Every blueprint. Every piece of gear, equipment and commodity, deleted from existence.

And finally, us.

Our history of expansion throughout the universe. The discovery of Wild Space. A perpetual dance of diplomacy and politics. The constant state of conflict in-between the largest of teams, driven by revenge and anger. Random PvP encounters. Pilots screaming in rage as they watch their most valuable piece of gear drift away. Engineers writhing in agony while watching their prized drones blown to pieces. Inexperienced fleet commanders screaming in pain, reminded that they forgot to equip Stasis Generators on their slaves. Base builders waking up to their entire galaxies pillaged. The most experienced of pirates locked in combat, exchanging projectile and laser fire with ferocity. Infamous pilots wrecking havoc throughout every single team in a cynical path of deception, betrayal, and bloodshed. The destruction and chaos that ensued whenever someone tried to claim the Emperor's throne.
Large squads being organized to take down bosses. Grunts of frustration as a group gets wiped by one small mistake. Cheers of joy and satisfaction, echoing throughout comms after the glorious destruction of a difficult boss. Each pilot getting better and stronger equipment, one after another.
Camaraderie between pilots growing stronger. Groups of pilots forming a team, looking out for each other's backs. Pilots striving for progress along with their teammates. An everlasting bond forged through experience, enduring through years of space-faring.

Every team.
Every pilot.

Erased by the flow of space and time, never to be heard of again.

I know it sounds morbid. But who knows, it might happen. One day, we might all just *POOF*, disappear. Maybe some people out there in some other multiverse will write about us in some fancy log books. Maybe they'll make songs and poems about our glorious achievements. Maybe they'll find some remnants of our universe, and discover this lone letter flying through the endless void of space and time.

Maybe they'll remember us.

But nobody would like that right now, would they? So here's my wish.

I wish for another merry sonatian christmas, and eternal glory to us all.

- Cyraptor

P.S. I would also like thank the gods who helped mold and shape our universe. Surely we couldn't have gotten this far without them. Please forward this letter to them too(if they actually exist).


Sat Dec 10, 2016 5:31 am
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Quote:
Dear Astro-Santa,

You are my Christmas hero and a true hardcore Communist. You give everybody a present depending on how well they were. If they were good, you give them a good present. If they were bad, you give them coal. You wear all red, the main colour of Communism and you have thousands of elves endlessly working for you while you dict.. *cough* tell them what to do. Please shed some light on this wonderful ideology of equality and peace by rewarding those who are loyal to the Red Revolution with large sways of chocolate and sweets. And for those Capitalist Sonatians...COAL!

Sincerely
Comrade Daedalus

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Sat Dec 10, 2016 7:22 pm
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Quote:
Dear Astro-Santa

In the beggning i wanted to dedicate you the anthem of islamic state with little changes, but then i though that i don't wanted to get banned or having troubles :lol: :lol: , anyways would have been epic to have the islamic state anthem english lyrics as a Christmas letter for the eternity and end of SS :lol: :lol: :lol:

Anyways, Gib x2 surgical burst, thanks.

t. Narg


Sun Dec 11, 2016 9:53 am
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Quote:
Dear Astro Santa (Dev Team),

I just want the holoprojector.

Thanks,
Shawn


Sun Dec 11, 2016 7:17 pm
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Dear Astro-Santa,

This Christmas, get rid of your wild bots. I can't believe you use reindeer wild bots. SAD! I don't know why you use them. They're bad. Trust me, I know. I'm the best Fleet Commander there is. Tremendous.

Now let me get down to business. Here's what you're going to do for me for Christmas. Today there are too many players with unchecked wild bot privilege. Every time I see a Bigger Green wild bot, I get triggered. I can't even anymore. And everyone just automatically assumes I use wild bots and it's oppressive. I'm tired of the assuming and oppression, just because that as a good FC I'm a minority. Because when bad FCs send their bots, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending bots that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing low DPS. They’re bringing low shield banks. They’re wild bots. And some, I assume, are decent FCs.

So this Christmas, I want my safe space back. I want a big wall built between me and the wild bots. And I don't mind if there's a big beautiful door on that wall to allow good Fleet Commanders to come through, without wild bots. Please eliminate all the privileged wild bot users out there! Kill them all! I want them out of my galaxy! OUT! OUT! OUT!

Signed,
FC God-Emperor JV2

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I would like to think the line "excuse me but can I get a shitpost?" is fairly polite.


Mon Dec 12, 2016 6:55 pm
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
cej1120con wrote:
Dear Astro-Santa,

This Christmas, get rid of your wild bots. I can't believe you use reindeer wild bots. SAD! I don't know why you use them. They're bad. Trust me, I know. I'm the best Fleet Commander there is. Tremendous.

Now let me get down to business. Here's what you're going to do for me for Christmas. Today there are too many players with unchecked wild bot privilege. Every time I see a Bigger Green wild bot, I get triggered. I can't even anymore. And everyone just automatically assumes I use wild bots and it's oppressive. I'm tired of the assuming and oppression, just because that as a good FC I'm a minority. Because when bad FCs send their bots, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending bots that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing low DPS. They’re bringing low shield banks. They’re wild bots. And some, I assume, are decent FCs.

So this Christmas, I want my safe space back. I want a big wall built between me and the wild bots. And I don't mind if there's a big beautiful door on that wall to allow good Fleet Commanders to come through, without wild bots. Please eliminate all the privileged wild bot users out there! Kill them all! I want them out of my galaxy! OUT! OUT! OUT!

Signed,
FC God-Emperor JV2


FC God-Emperor is Jey...


Tue Dec 13, 2016 6:06 pm
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
ShawnMcCall wrote:
cej1120con wrote:
Dear Astro-Santa,

This Christmas, get rid of your wild bots. I can't believe you use reindeer wild bots. SAD! I don't know why you use them. They're bad. Trust me, I know. I'm the best Fleet Commander there is. Tremendous.

Now let me get down to business. Here's what you're going to do for me for Christmas. Today there are too many players with unchecked wild bot privilege. Every time I see a Bigger Green wild bot, I get triggered. I can't even anymore. And everyone just automatically assumes I use wild bots and it's oppressive. I'm tired of the assuming and oppression, just because that as a good FC I'm a minority. Because when bad FCs send their bots, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending bots that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing low DPS. They’re bringing low shield banks. They’re wild bots. And some, I assume, are decent FCs.

So this Christmas, I want my safe space back. I want a big wall built between me and the wild bots. And I don't mind if there's a big beautiful door on that wall to allow good Fleet Commanders to come through, without wild bots. Please eliminate all the privileged wild bot users out there! Kill them all! I want them out of my galaxy! OUT! OUT! OUT!

Signed,
FC God-Emperor JV2


FC God-Emperor is Jey...


You are both completely wrong.

SOFA-KING was the old FC God, not Jey. Cefton is the modern FC-God and always will be.

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Thu Dec 15, 2016 2:55 am
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Larry beat both of those noobs to the punch with capital ship FC. Quantum beat everyone to the punch with FC in general.

Would say deadbeat, razon, and Johnston are good choices for pushing the envelope. Just because you're revered by a high end sniper doesn't mean you're the best.

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Last edited by Pontius123 on Thu Dec 15, 2016 4:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Thu Dec 15, 2016 3:43 am
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Pontius123 wrote:
Quantum beat everyone to the punch with FC in general.

To me Quantum is the original FC god.


Thu Dec 15, 2016 3:53 am
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Quote:
There was a commod made from peasant.
The name of it wasn't deemed pleasant.
Please Santa, revert her!
Though I'm no perverter,
a crack whore's one hell of a present!

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Regards Scyron
Captain Gusten
Pengar E Fint


Thu Dec 15, 2016 4:52 am
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Post Re: Christmas 2016
Contribution #2:

Quote:
There was an old spaceman named Seamus,
Who built on the planet Uranus.
He said "Not a bot,
it's 'slave', is it not?
Or I'll be a pain in your chimney!"

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Regards Scyron
Captain Gusten
Pengar E Fint


Thu Dec 15, 2016 10:30 am
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